Love and Other Wild Things Page 6

  “So stop delivery on my Sex Toy of the Month Club membership while I’m here. Got it.”

  Zed’s eyes bugged out and he choked out a laugh, so hard he bent over at the waist and propped his hands against his knees.

  “Okay, so I’m gonna go. Sorry about the choking.”

  Zed was wiping at his face. “No, no, cher. It takes a lot to make me choke on my own air. Good job. Go, but keep your sex-toy-purchase-thoughts to yourself.”

  “No promises!” Dani was grinning all the way to the post office. There was a tremendous feeling of power in bringing a man of Zed’s proportions down with a slightly crude joke. And she appreciated that he didn’t get all grumpy about her using “blue humor.” There was a certain comfort in spending time with a man who could laugh at a sexy joke without making it weird.

  And Dani found that she was much more uncomfortable around a known psychic than she thought. While Bonita, a short Hispanic woman with soft, rounded features and a crown of braided salt-and-pepper hair, had been perfectly sweet, Dani hummed show tunes in her head to avoid thinking of anything incriminating or sexual. And she was careful to use a pen from the post office cup to fill out her form. It was probably hyper-optimistic to rent a box for six months, but it would be nice to have a place where she could order internet deliveries. She hadn’t used her Amazon account in three years. She thought maybe that was grounds to have someone declared legally dead.

  Dani emerged onto sunny Main Street and debated seriously between a visit to the pie shop and visiting her boss. She figured that a responsible adult whose family was depending on her should probably go visit her boss.

  She glanced across the street at the pie shop. “Soon, you will be mine.”

  She scanned the street as she walked toward the League village, a habit developed while traveling in less than hospitable countries. She took in the white-washed Parish Hall building topped with a spire and a golden dragon. It was very similar to the dragon that hovered over the fountain in the center of the town square. She got the feeling that dragons played an important part in local history. She really needed to read Jillian’s study.

  “Hey, Miss Dani!”

  She turned to see Sheriff Bael Boone, Jillian’s boyfriend, jogging across the square. He had a foil wrapped square and a to-go cup of coffee in his hands.

  “Hi, Sheriff, are you all right?”

  “Hi, there.” Bael grinned at her. “Thanks for asking. I’m fine. I just stopped in over at the sweet shop to get some mid-morning pie for Jillian. Can you run it to her office for me? I’ve got a call on the other side of the parish. The twice damned Beasley boys got stuck in Charlie Deeds’ shrimping nets again and Charlie’s threatening to fill both their asses with buck shot.”

  Dani tried to contain her laughter. She really did. But she failed. “The Beasley boys are the pervert gator shifters Jillian warned me about?”

  “Yes, they are.” Bael nodded, a grim expression on his face.

  “But you’re not a gator shifter, right?”

  Bael frowned. “Beg pardon?”

  “I’m picking up a reptilian sort of vibe from you, but not alligator. Something bigger? Does that make sense? Am I wrong?”

  Bael cleared his throat. “I’m sorry. I’m in a bit of a hurry. If you could just run this in to Jillian’s office, I’d appreciate it.”

  “Sure thing.” Dani frowned, watching Bael running across the parking lot toward his squad car. Had she said something to offend him? She figured that asking about someone’s shifting ability was a fairly standard question in Mystic Bayou.

  Shaking her head, she walked into Building One, which was far more impressive than the tiny faux New England structures. She noted that there was no signage indicating that these buildings housed League offices. She supposed this was because tourists could make a wrong turn, end up in Mystic Bayou and drive past the village. Considering that the League was a secret organization, that was probably a bad idea.

  The air-conditioning practically slapped Dani in the face as she walked in. She shivered, shutting the door behind her quickly. Despite the manufactured chill, the auburn-haired receptionist at the front desk was still fanning her face with a copy of Popular Photography. A painfully thin girl with dark hair was staring at the receptionist, in a manner that would have made Dani distinctly nervous, like she was imagining a towel rack made from the receptionist’s ulna.

  “I don’t understand why I can’t just see Dr. Ramsay. I only need five minutes of her time,” the brunette seethed.

  “Because you don’t have an appointment, Dr. Portenoy,” the receptionist replied coolly. “No appointment, no access to Dr. Ramsay. She’s a very busy woman and she can’t have people just showing up and interrupting her day.”

  “Which is why I will only take a few minutes of her time to discuss this acquisition form, Lara. Somehow, half of the supplies I ordered for my lab were left off of the order form, leaving me without vital equipment I need. If I can’t run the required tests, I might as well be back in the morgue in Baltimore.”

  The word “morgue” had Dani taking a step back.

  “Lara” stopped waving her magazine and cast Dr. Portenoy an exasperated look. “Is that the corrected form?”

  “Yes. I need to make sure each and every item is in my lab, by Monday.”

  “Fine, I will place the order myself, if it means that you leave my office and stop trying to interrupt Dr. Ramsay’s schedule.” Lara said primly.

  “Thank you,” Dr. Portenoy sighed. She turned and the laser focus of her blue eyes landed on Dani. She didn’t flinch, but it was a near thing.

  “You’re Danica Teel,” Dr. Portenoy said, squinting as if she could see through to Dani’s thoughts.

  Stop thinking about how off-putting she is, Dani told herself. She’ll hear you!

  Dani cleared her throat. “Yes?”

  “Ivy Portenoy. I work for the forensics department. It’s so nice to have another girl here working for the League. Besides Dr. Ramsay and Lara, and a handful of others, most of the other League employees are male.”

  “I had noticed that. And it’s Dani, please.”

  Dr. Portenoy sent an annoyed look Lara’s way. “Some people are more agreeable to those ratios than others.”

  Lara frowed at her. “And some people should remember that their supply order hasn’t been placed yet.”

  Dr. Portenoy rolled her eyes. “It was nice to meet you, Dani. I look forward to learning as much as I can about you.

  Dani’s chin felt like it wanted to retreat back into her throat as Dr. Portenoy passed and walked toward the trailer door. When the door closed, Dani said, “She’s intense.”

  “Yes, she is.” In a sweet, professional tone that was obviously contrived, Lara asked, “Can I help you?”

  “I’d like to speak to Dr. Ramsay please.”

  Lara’s pleasant expression melted away, leaving only cold rejection. “Do you have an appointment?”

  Dani smiled her best smile. “Not exactly.”

  “No appointment, no access to Dr. Ramsay,” Lara said in the exact same tone she’d used with Dr. Portenoy. “She’s a very busy woman and she can’t have people just showing up and interrupting her day.”

  “Well, she did ask me to stop by,” Dani said.

  “For a Monday morning social chat?” The receptionist eyed the foil wrapped package in her hands. “To bring her coffee? That ruse won’t work with me. I’ve heard every sob story—”

  Jillian’s head poked through her office door, shooting a slightly embarrassed look toward Dani. “Lara, really, it’s okay. This is Danice Teel, one of our newer employees. I asked her to stop by and see me today.”

  Lara nodded sharply. “Yes, Danica Teel, no PhD, independent contractor, non-specific tasks. Your office is in Building Eleven. There was no picture attached to your profile.”

  “I didn’t realize headshots were something that people did . . . with professional positions . . . with a secret organizatio
n,” said Dani.

  “This is the International League for Interspecies Cooperation. We hold ourselves to a higher standard.”

  Dani’s eyes widened. “I don’t know how to respond to that.”

  Jillian snorted. “Come on back to my office, Dani. Lara, hold my calls.”

  Lara nodded sharply. “Yes, ma’am.”

  Dani followed Jillian into a spacious office. “What in the actual hell? Where did she go to secretarial school? The CIA? Mossad?”

  “Sorry about that, Lara is a little intense when it comes to protecting my schedule,” Jillian told her.

  The office was lined with different maps of Mystic Bayou, the largest showed the entire parish with several clear plastic overlays marked “new magique,” “family territories,” and “rift influence.” One map showed the faille clearly marked in a place called the Afarpiece Swamp. The only personal item in the office was a large framed photo of Jillian and Bael grinning at the camera like a couple of smitten kittens, and another frame Dani couldn’t angle around to see.

  “Glasses, glasses, where did I put the glasses?” Jillian sighed, searching her desk.

  Dani “ahemed” and pointed to the top of Jillian’s head, where her glasses were stuck through a golden bun secured with a pair of bronze sticks carved with sea serpents.

  Jillian groaned. “That’s embarrassing. I don’t really need the darn things anymore. They’re more of a comfort item, like an academic security blanket.”

  Jillian gestured toward the plush blue wingback chair across from her desk. “So, Lara wasn’t wrong. We do have office space set aside in Building Eleven. I can take you over in a bit.”

  Dani shuddered. “Ugh, no, that sounds like hell. I wouldn’t be able to concentrate at all, with this many people and the phones going off and—I would be a complete mess in a few days. I’m much better off working at the house.”

  “Fair enough. I’m all for knowing your limits. So, how are you settling in?”

  “Better than I expected. I love the house. I don’t think I’ve slept this well in years.”

  Jillian smirked. “The swinging bed is pretty comfy, once you get used to the idea. Scenery’s not bad either.”

  “Yeah, either Zed’s going to have to finish up my shower quick, or I’m going to jump him and ruin our working relationship.”

  “Oh, I meant the view from the bedroom window, but I see your point.” Jillian nodded toward the cup and plate in Dani’s hands. “So did you let Siobhan choose for you, or did you brave potential pie disappointment?”

  “I’m sorry what?”

  “The to-go order from the pie shop.”

  Dani laughed. “Oh, no, the sheriff asked me to drop this off for you. He said it was your ‘mid-morning’ pie? Which would imply there are several pie points throughout the day?”

  Jillian chuckled as she took the pie and coffee from Dani’s hands. She unwrapped what looked to be a coconut cream pie and sniffed appreciatively. “Yeah, pie is pretty much an all-day food around here. To balance it out as a complete breakfast, Bathtilda usually serves it with bacon.”

  “I think I’m gonna like it here.”

  “Was there a reason Bael asked you to deliver this instead of bringing it himself?” Jillian asked.

  “Something about the Beasley boys being up to no good again,” said Dani.

  Jillian shuddered as she sipped her coffee. “If the bayou had the Dukes of Hazzard, the Beasley boys would be it, only with less folksy charm and way more of a voyeuristic creep factor.”

  “I think I might have offended the sheriff in some way during this conversation.”

  “Bael? That’s pretty difficult to do. I mean, he has tourists call him an ‘inbred asshole with a badge’ on a regular basis, and it doesn’t even phase him.”

  Dani frowned. “I don’t know. We were having a perfectly nice conversation, and then I asked him what sort of shifter he is and he just sort of shut me down.”

  The corners of Jillian’s mouth pulled back into a grimace. “Yeah, you’re really not supposed to do that, it’s considered rude in shifter culture.”

  “I don’t understand.”

  “Are you a fan of The Office?” Jillian asked.

  “Sure.”

  Jillian leaned forward, squinting at Dani’s face. “Wow! You are very exotic-looking. Was your dad a GI?”

  “Wha—” Dani’s jaw dropped at the implication of one of the cringier quotes from the show. “Aw, man, am I the Michael Scott in this scenario?”

  “I know you didn’t mean anything by it, but it’s considered intrusive.” Jillian nodded. “You could literally ask some of these people about their favorite sexual positions and they wouldn’t bat an eyelash. But direct questions about their species? The height of rudeness. They can throw out hints. And if you guess correctly, they’ll confirm it. But you don’t ask.”

  “But direct questions are my primary means of communication!”

  “Trust me, I get it. Haven’t you read my handbook?” Jillian asked. “The League was supposed to send copies to all its employees. It’s required reading if you plan on working for the Mystic Bayou Initiative.”

  “Well, I was working in Outer Mongolia when the League contracted me to move here, so no, I didn’t read your handbook. They didn’t have wifi in my yurt, so it wasn’t like I could order it on Amazon. And despite the fact that I am a League employee, I haven’t had a lot of experience with shifter culture before. My mother using her lab’s de-contamination airlock as a babysitter? Sure. Naked people dancing in the mud to the music of the wind? Yes, on my twelfth birthday. But not shapeshifters.”

  Snorting, Jillian reached into her desk drawer and pulled out a blue-bound soft-covered book entitled, Mystic Bayou: A Whole-Hearted Approach to a Blended Community. “Here. I keep these handy for moments like this.”

  Jillian unlocked another desk drawer and handed her a much thinner volume marked TOP SECRET. “And here is the appendix regarding the rift. Please don’t let that get into the wrong hands.”

  Dani nodded. “I will do my best.”

  “And for future reference, Bael is a dragon shifter.”

  “Really? Good for you,” Dani said, raising her brows. She couldn’t imagine calm, collected Bael as an enormous, fire-breathing creature. Then again, she’d only mildly annoyed him. She hadn’t pissed it him off royally.

  “And since you’re working with the rift, I feel the need to tell you…” Jillian snapped her finger, and a tall blue flame flickered to life on the end of her thumb.

  Dani sat back in her chair, a confused expression on her face. “Jillian, I mean this in the nicest way possible, but what the fuck is going on with your thumb?”

  “Exposure to the rift earlier this year turned me into a phoenix. I’m one of those ‘remade magie’ the League is so concerned about. After spending just a few months in this town, I can now do this.”

  Jillian’s body exploded in a plume of blue and gold flame, forming into a blindingly beautiful bird whose wingspan stretched all the way across the office. Dani didn’t topple her chair backwards in a panic, but she came awfully close.

  “Okay, okay, go back to human before you set off the smoke alarms!” Dani shouted over the roar of Jillian’s fire.

  Jillian was laughing when she became human again, ducking behind a privacy screen painted with a writhing golden dragon. Over the top of the screen, she called, “The first time I changed, it was in the League offices. In front of Akako Hayashi herself. I didn’t know I could do it. But she could sense that something had changed in me. I’d spent a little too much time around the rift and it changed me.”

  “Well, it’s a good thing you’re living in a fireproof house.”

  “If it makes you feel any better, the office is fireproofed, too.”

  “Do you think the rift is going to change me?” Dani asked.

  “Well, there’s no way of knowing, really,” Jillian said. “But your genetic make-up is already pretty different, so I
wouldn’t worry about it too much.”

  “Zed said you have the genetics department working on some sort of test. But you visited the faille site, at least once, right?”

  Jillian nodded. “I got close for a few minutes before I started getting dizzy. Bael basically had to carry me out. And then I lived here for a few months, absorbing who knows how much residual supernatural radiation. It may be that I carry some sort of gene that meant I would change no matter how close I got to the rift. Honestly, this whole conversation is probably me being a worrywart. I just want you to have a realistic understanding of the risks involved with your work. And frankly, I didn’t trust the League to fully inform you.”

  Jillian Ramsay was someone whom she could trust, maybe not with all of her life’s secrets, but at least Dani knew that Jillian didn’t consider her employees cannon fodder on Jillian’s climb up the League career ladder.

  “So, how do you feel about the whole, ‘working with the League changed my entire life as I know it’ thing?” Dani asked.

  Jillian snapped her fingers again, snuffing out the pretty little flame. “Believe it or not, it’s made things a bit easier on the relationship front. Dragon boyfriends suffer way less anxiety when you’re fireproof.”

  “That makes sense.”

  “And everything else . . . I’ll figure out. I didn’t have much of a home before I came here. I mean, I had Mel and Sonja, who are the closest things I’ve ever had to family.” Jillian paused to tap a picture frame showing herself with her arms around a short, balding Japanese man and a lovely dark-haired woman in a slick red power suit and matching lipstick. “But no place where I felt like I absolutely knew I belonged, where I wasn’t the weird girl obsessed with monsters. I’ve found that here. And even after the League is no longer interested in Mystic Bayou, I’ll still be here.”

  “You’d give up your job for a man and good pie?”

  Jillian smiled. “I don’t like to think of it as ‘giving up’ so much as changing what I think of as a fulfilled life. Plus, you’ve never tried Siobhan’s pies. They’re life-changing.”

  “You could let me try that pie that I happened to carry in here for you.”